The 5th ammendment, aka Right to Due Process in a court of law, was successfully killed today after years of thwarting Presidential efforts. The 5th ammendment is the latest of the “Gang of 10″ that had stood in the way of both President Bush and President Obama since 9/11. Officials were pleased to announce that a second American was killed in the raid as well. The First Ammendment, aka Freedom-al-Religion aka Freedom-al-Speech, was killed in the same attack.
Celebrating the victory, President Barack Obama declared the killing a “major blow”, and vowed a vigorous U.S. campaign to prevent the terror network and its partners from finding safe haven anywhere in the world. Officials believe that the other parts of the “Gang of 10″ will be forced into hiding until the Terror is eliminated and the war thus brought to an end.
President Obama’s reelection officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity because that’s just how it’s done these days, stated that this was yet another case of President Obama succeeding where President Bush failed. “We really believe that President Obama will be greeted with flowers and chocolates after liberating them from years of living under the Gang of 10.”